I was inspired to write about a topic that I am extremely passionate about as it has greatly transformed my life for the better. At one point in my life I was the person that I see all around me today. These people I refer to are constantly struggling to achieve what they want, on the surface they seem to be doing all the right stuff, but their life is just not giving them back the results that they seem to so desperately want, need or desire.

These personalities are all around us and sometimes (if not most of the time) they are us! I have always seen examples of this in my life but as I have started my journey on becoming very conscious and aware of my thoughts, words and actions, the solution has started to dawn on me quite abruptly.

In fact looking at it now, it seems such common sense! Yet if it is, then why don’t more of us know it, use it and reap the benefits of it? The answer unfortunately is not that simple and something that should be common sense isn’t for one main reason – most of the time we do not live consciously!

If you are new to the field of topics surrounding “consciousness expansion”, for you to understand what I mean by the term “conscious” I invite you to read the following article where I define what conscious means in the context of our discussions.

In this article we will explore how to align ourselves to creating the lives that we most desire. The solution surrounds the idea of accountability and for the most part it is common sense. Yet I understand because I was once there, that oftentimes the simplest things cause us the greatest challenges, so we will explore the solutions in detail. Let’s therefore open our minds and hearts as we embrace a way of living that causes us to think for ourselves and be accountable!

Ok so here we go, why do so many of us go around saying what we want, and not getting it, or feeling that our lives are not in our control as to what we choose to have or experience?

First Reason

You may fall into this category if your belief is that everything that has or will ever happen to you has been prearranged. Hence it doesn’t matter what you want that much anyway, as you are only human, a.k.a. a weak being that has no control over higher outcomes. Sure you control and pick what color socks you put on this morning, but you have no control over what spouse you will have or what disease you may end up suffering from.

Put another way, people who come from a religious background will say things like “well this is what God intended for me” or “it’s whatever God has in store for me” or better yet “I get what God gives me”. So right off the bat, you are relinquishing your personal power for your life creation. If your life seems to be “worse” on average than another’s, if you seem to be hit with all the bad relationships, bad jobs, bad health, etc., you brush it off as “God’s will” and struggle through life.

If this is you, humor yourself for a moment and allow yourself to ask the following question, “why does God dislike ME so much?” Why me and not my brother, jealous friend, cheating spouse, etc? Maybe I should go on but it seems to me pretty clear that just that question alone should give you some serious ideas to think about and contemplate about your belief system. You have to acknowledge that if all these “bad” things are happening to you, and you somehow think that God orchestrated this, then either you believe in a very cruel God or you are taking the easy way out and putting the responsibility on God for your life instead of yourself.

So that brings us to accountability – our big missing characteristic.

Now going back to the previous thought I think it seems obvious that if you believe in God, most likely you do not believe him to be cruel. (I use the term “him” here loosely.) Therefore you have to do the hard task of looking at yourself for answers and taking some serious accountability for your life. I am not trying to be harsh here or insensitive, as I once too believed like that, until I started asking myself the harder questions and began to get amazing answers that changed my life drastically. Due to this, today I no longer feel helpless, I am in on this, my life, with “God”, not just some puppet whose strings are being pulled or just another human trying to live out some chapter of a book “God” put together on all of us when “he” created the Earth.

Now before I leave this reason completely, many devout people may dismiss this entire paragraph and say “what do you mean why is this happening to me, God gives us challenges, I am suffering, I am a martyr just like Jesus and many other saints, etc., it is an honor”.

So to you I only say this, and what does God get out of your suffering, out of your so-called challenges? Many people in this category will feel somewhat “holier” to be going through harder times and battling on bravely through it, in which case all I can leave you with is this: Great! If that is how you feel, then so be it and no one should take that away from you! Remember, if it is serving you then who am I or anyone else to question it or put it down. My only hope is that you are not using that as an excuse for your life state, or as an easy way out, as a way out of taking personal accountability. I think most of us will agree by now and come to a common understanding that one thing that God for sure is, is loving and it just does not make sense for a loving being to want to watch their precious creation suffer.


You are not a helpless bystander in your own life. You are not an actor or actress playing out somebody else’s script. You are human, a magnificent being that is spiritual, tied and connected to Source-God at all times, having and enjoying a physical experience!

Second Reason

Ok, so assuming you do believe that you have some or all control over your life and that God is not putting you through tests or challenges then another immense reason that people seem to be wanting all the right stuff in their life and not getting it is because of others.

Yes, others. What others you may ask? Anyone who you directly or indirectly come in contact with. These others however, most often involve most strongly those closest to us. Just think of a teenager, what stands in the way of his or her happiness, ask any one of them and they will surely all give you back the same answer – their parents.

Now how about you? Who do you see as standing in the way of your happiness? Is it perhaps your partner, are they limiting you or preventing you from being who you want to be, or having that job, that outfit, that friend? Is it your parents perhaps, regardless of your own age? Is it your kids? Or maybe it is that store clerk who always seems to have a way of making your experience unpleasant, or the co-worker whose attitude always seems to bring you down?

You definitely know you are in this category if you find yourself saying things to others like “you ruined my day” or “it is because of you that I am down“, or “it’s all your fault“. Whoever it is that you say these things to or feel some negativity towards for ruining something for you, now is the time to stop and take a hard look at what is really going on here.

Think, question, reflect, and think again, who is really in charge here?

Who is really to blame for your unhappiness?

The easy way out, the way that requires no thinking and limited accountability is to constantly see others as the obstacle to your happiness. But stop, think, ask yourself “why am I a living contradiction?” Why are most of us living a life that contradicts the very essence of who and what we are, and most importantly what we want?

Don’t be confused here, just think, we try to be in control of everything, no? Are governments not constantly trying to control their citizens? Are religions not constantly trying to control their congregations? Are companies not constantly trying to control their employees? Are parents not constantly trying to control their kids? Are we not constantly trying to control the weather, or our spouses, or bank accounts? Are you not constantly trying to control what you wear, eat and think? We cannot avoid it, we are.

From every angle of who, how, where, when and why, most of the time we are trying to control something or someone. And to add, for some of these examples and to some extent there is nothing wrong with that. After all what magnificent beings God made us to be, to have a mind to think and reason with, and emotions to feel with, and senses to detect with. Of course we want to be in control of ourselves and our surroundings, what would be the point of being a slave to it all?

But that is where a key question needs your consideration here: we are powerful creators, why then do we claim to control or be in control of all these things and yet when it comes to our feelings, our emotions or our reactions we surrender most, if not all of our control, and blame the other? We constantly blame the other for anything from our outbursts and hurtful words, to our ruined days, weeks, months, years or even lives!

Now imagine the other side of the coin, you are miserable or not getting what you want not because of anything the other says or does, but because of you! You are not miserable because of the mate, job, childhood, or parents you had or have. The key to this is truly seeing your magnificence. You are much more powerful than you imagine, but as usual most of us take the easy way out: the ‘no conscious thinking’ and ‘no accountability’ way out.

We take what comes and accept it as the norm, not for once stopping and considering another outcome, another possibility. Imagine right now how much harder it would be if you had to look at yourself and yes, hold yourself accountable for why you are having a bad day, week or life.

“What? Me? How dare you?”

I don’t dare. Remember, I am not here to offend you, but to offer you a new way of looking at things, a deeper and more enlightened way to live. And sometimes this is a much harder way at first, but only because you have to make a change in two critical areas of your life: your thinking and your actions.

See the truth is most of us put up with bad scenarios because it makes us be the victim and the other be the villain, therefore we are the poor, good guy and they are the big nasty, bad guy. We are right, and so they are wrong. However, it does not have to be this way; just imagine the bliss you would get from being in control of something that really matters – your life! Therefore we need to understand the basic governing principle here, if you want different results in your life, control yourself, not others!

Making or wanting others to do or not do something works great, but only if you want to change their life. (But, hint, don’t expect them to like you very much if you should so continue.) Again, see the common sense in action here: you want different results for you – then work on you!


Stop blaming others for your misery, unhappiness and things not working out the way you want. Empower yourself and take control of yourself, your life. Only you can truly bring yourself happiness or sadness. The answer is all about how you think and how accountable you are to and for yourself!

Third Reason

Ok, we have come to the last reason for you not getting the results and happiness you want out of life. So it is not God or others who stand in your way – but you. And you know it! You know that there are better ways to live out there, there are alternate ways to be, think and feel but whether it be due to laziness or out of convenience, tradition, repetition or whatever, you continue living day after day in the same rut!

I always feel it is unfortunate for people to be in this position because today more than ever in the history of human kind, help and information is at our finger tips for our taking. Consider just the Internet alone, it holds thousands of web sites, blogs and other forms of information all designed to help us lose weight, get a job, become happier, etc. In the world we live today, it is very difficult to plead ignorance as literally we are bombarded by information from various sources every single day, so saying “I did not know that” is quickly becoming obsolete. Ah, but not for everyone of course. There are those of us who choose to lead very sheltered lives and not seek information, but try to lock ourselves in a stagnant state. And yes there is lots of junk information to filter through, but bottom line quality information is out there. All it takes is some initiative on our part to go seek what it is that you need information on. And yes, changing your life and living a fuller, more fulfilled life is also at your finger tips.

In fact I think it is quite amazing what has happened today, just think, if you need some basic counseling on self-esteem, relationships, parenting, self-help or numerous other topics you almost never need to go and make appointments with counselors who charge hundreds of dollars by the hour. Yes, that is right, you can gain and learn so much for free today! All it takes is simply the drive to seek, understand and apply!

All of us have been in this position at one time or another and what always boggles my mind is the limitations and restrictions people set out for themselves. For example, I had one particular friend whose life never quite seemed to be going right. They would ask for advice and complain, and complain, and complain. So I offered them stories, analogies, explanations in the form of advice to shed some light on their situation, to show them another way out, and guess what their most common answer always was…”Oh that is great, yeah just wonderful, but it would never work for me”, and out came forth a slew of excuses.

Those famous words “it would never work for me” bewilder me. Here is a person who is doing the same thing over and over, wondering why their life is in the shape it is in and when faced with a door, a window, a new way, they immediately shoot it down. Without even giving a try to what could be a wonderful solution, a change or even a new way to live, they shut down before they even start. However this person is not alone, and not some isolated exception. Upon having many observations and conversations with friends, past coworkers, clients, or online acquaintances, it never ceases to amaze me how many people take nice stories which offer a new way, or solution or some new insight on their situation and just immediately brush it off as not possible for them. Yes, some things we just know deep within as to what is right and what isn’t for us, but more often than not, we deprive ourselves of new opportunities because we are unwilling to try and take a step in a new direction. It is too bad really because today, in this new millennium, more than ever before we have available to us some of the most profound, enlightened and outspoken people who are all around us trying to ease our pain and suffering on this planet. They are trying to make us remember who we are and why we are here, because it is not “to suffer”.

Again, why does this work so well for most people? Because many of us love playing the victim archetype. It is just so much easier to have people feel sorry for us and to have something to complain about, than to take action and bring about some change. Our society almost makes us feel guilty if we are too happy or if everything is going right. May that not stop you though, as today we live in a world of extreme abundance and pretty much any kind of help that you need is at your fingertips, regardless of your financial status.

One only needs to walk into a book store, library or do a quick search online to see or hear others who have mastered or are mastering their life. Those amazing souls are here to aid us. And what do we do all too often? Dismiss them and their words as airy-fairy stories that are sweet and romantic in content but not for real life. The time has come to stop making excuses and give alternative options a try – a fair chance. The benefits can be literally life changing. If you are in this category you must remember, it does not seem to make much sense to keep hurting yourself over and over again, and then keep complaining about it. By being stubborn, closed-minded, afraid of change, and cynical you are doing just that; hurting yourself!

Some people claim that our laziness and indifference has turned us into extreme cynics who see little hope for a better way of life. I don’t know if that is exactly the case, but I do know that older generations are especially susceptible to being stuck in their ways, due to the nature of their inherited mind patterns. It is too bad that this is how it often is, for the more inflexible or closed minded we become, the more we tend to suffer. The young appear to at least have some hope and be open to new messages, but the older dismiss many of today’s great authors, speakers and personalities as simply being part of that ‘new age junk’. Ultimately I realize that everyone has their personal path to walk and all is unfolding on this planet as it needs to. I know I am so proud and feel so blessed to live here today, and to be part of perhaps the greatest awakening ever for human kind.


To manifest the highest version of who you are and who you can be, stop being passive and become active about your life. Resources are all around you to remind you of what a magnificent being you are and why you are on this planet. Open your mind and seek a new way. Happiness and fulfillment are in your grasp!


Happiness and peace of mind, body and spirit was not reserved for a select few. It is attainable for anyone and can be lived out by everyone. Don’t be fooled therefore that things were just meant to be mediocre for you here; they were meant to be spectacular!

Look around you – you live on a beautiful planet, surrounded by amazing people and things. Even if it is hard for you to believe this right now, you too will get there! You too will progress on your personal journey of evolution, and see this life as a gift for you of whatever you so choose.

All it takes is to embrace conscious living and align yourself to your dreams – your soul’s purpose. We can do this by taking accountability for our thoughts, words and actions, as well as our emotions and reactions. The quality of your life truly depends on it. Not only will you and your life benefit, so will all those around you, and our collective consciousness.