As children we are given relationships that start us off on our journey of self-discovery. Our personal lessons are embedded in us by the people around us, during our youngest years.
We then spend as much of your lives as is needed, to search for resolutions to those perceived injustices. There is a point to being human. Part of that point is to search for people to help us relive the lessons of our childhood so that we may move past them and become free of that emotional pain.
The Child Boy’s Teacher
As a child the young boy would find something he thought was beautiful and he would hold it up to his mother. He would show her and say to her “look mother at how beautiful this thing is. It makes me smile to look at it. It makes me happy to hold it. It makes me want to love.” And his mother would not say a thing about his love. She would just turn and look at more important things.
As we grow older into out teen years, we may still be searching for a way to learn those lessons with the original teachers. We might go out and try in every way we can, to have them change how they reacted. If all we wanted was to be told it is ok to love, then we might continue to ask them, to tell this to us. However as we age, we begin to search for what we think we are missing, in other relationships. Perhaps we get a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Perhaps we develop a relationship with another person who also will not tell us it is ok to love. And we may transfer our search to this new relationship.
The Teen Boy’s Teacher
As a teenager the young boy was lost inside a world that he did not relate to. He had been trying so hard to have his mother see who he was but she was not able to see the beauty of the young boy. As he grew he developed more and more skills and abilities. Every time he came home with another beautiful gift for his mother, she would not say a thing about his love. She would just turn and look at more important things.
Into young adulthood we might have completely given up on our original teacher. We might have rebelled and pushed away from them in anger because they were so unable to meet our needs. We had such towards them, for not seeing what we needed. This anger may develop and be aimed at ourselves as well. We may end up thinking that there is something wrong with us because we perceive ourselves to be unworthy of love. After all, our original teacher could not show us love, and our second relationship was unable to show us love as well. We now have two examples, we now believe we are unworthy of love and we conduct ourselves accordingly.
The Adult Boy’s Teacher
In his early twenties the young boy knew that there was something dramatically wrong with something in his world. He was unable to put a finger on it directly. He knew that the love he had for all of the things he had found, was real. He also knew that his mother had told him it was fake. How could this be? She had been the first person who he saw when he was born. She was there to protect him and bring him safety. How could she have been wrong about how this world worked? She told him there was no love, but he saw it everywhere. He continued to hold things up to her, hoping that she would somehow learn to see.
As we develop further in age and maturity, we move into other relationships where we become the people who are depended on as teachers. We begin a family and we have the first of our children. We are the first people they see when they are born. And when they ask us questions, we answer them to the best of our ability. We tell them about what we know of the world. We show them how to do things according to what we learned. We pass to them the same lessons that we ourselves have been hunting to resolve.
How could we possibly have known what they needed or what they wanted? We were so engrossed in what we thought, we knew about the world. If they hold up to us a picture of a musician we might say to them “That’s nice but you cannot be that, because there are more important things to do.”
Love – The Greatest Teacher
At 30 years old, the young boy stopped his need for his mother to give him love. He still held things up to her, but he had come to understand that she was doing, what she knew how to do. He finally understood that he didn’t need her to see how beautiful the things he was holding were. He finally knew that he could see the beauty himself.
He finally knew that it was okay for him to show the love he was holding to anyone who wanted to look. He understood that if they didn’t want to see the beauty, it didn’t have to hurt him. He could let go of the lesson that he was given by his first teacher. He now understood that the love he had, was his to give. The love he had could not be taken from him by anyone, in any way.
We can forgive those in our lives, who we feel were unjust to us. They had no idea what they were teaching.
We can forgive ourselves for the injustices we think we did to others and to ourselves. We had no idea what we were teaching.
We can forgive the injustices we encounter in every part of our lives, and we can learn to share the beautiful things we are holding, with anyone who wants to look.