Each day, each one of us faces many “endings”. Each day we have to face the end of a day. We end weeks, months and even years, and while all these are going on, most of us do just fine, because we know that there is a new day, new week, month and even year that is waiting for us.
Most of us move through each of these moments without much distress, but how about when we end a relationship, a job or a life in a certain place or as a certain person. Most of us do not seem to do as well with those moments. But why not?
Just like we bid farewell to the day that ended with the belief that a new one will begin, we should end any of those with a belief that a new “one” will come too. Why is it that we do not have the same faith when it comes to those things?
Alexander Graham Bell wrote:
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
It is thus the same for all of us in life. Doors never close and things never end without new doors opening or new times beginning.
It is June 2009, and in 3 weeks or exactly 15 working days, I will be experiencing a great ending. It will be the ending of my career, of my so called “job”.
For the past 7 years, since I graduated from university, I have been a secondary school math and science teacher. I taught the odd math course, but my passions and interests lay mostly in science, specifically biology. And so for the past 7 years, I have been blessed to be able to teach and reach over 1000 students.
Did I love my job? Oh you bet! Do I still? Definitely! So why am I leaving?
The number one reason for me deciding to end this career is that as much as I love teaching and interacting with youth, I have found a greater passion and calling in my life, which I have decided to pursue. And I owe all of that to teaching.
During the past 7 years, I was able to help numerous students in both academic and emotional ways. I was able to learn just as much as I taught. And most importantly I was able to grow.
It is that growth that had lead me to a new place, and a new me. At the back of my head I had always had a secret desire to write. As a teen I wrote lots of poetry and even some short articles which I dreamed of turning into books. But then society pushes logic on us and tells us to “get a job and start making a living”. Families preach to us about security and status. And in this way so many of us lose our dreams and passions, and forget the real purpose of life. It is not about making a living, it is about making a life.
Ultimately, I have found that I have outgrown my environment. This is not meant to be a negative or arrogant thing. I simply no longer resonate with the environment that once brought me great joy, comfort and satisfaction. While I still love the premise of teaching, I have learned enough to know how the system works and it does not resonate with me or my being one bit. Although I do not like to focus on negative things, perhaps I will explain this a little more in another article.
Almost 4 years ago, I began a great awakening process in my life, and all the things that once fit, slowly began not to fit anymore. Today in fact, I feel more caged in my work environment than free, and if that isn’t a sign to move on, I don’t know what is.
I had played with the decision to move on and make this my last school year at the end of last summer and it really wouldn’t have made it to the next level of taking it seriously if it wasn’t for Markus (my husband). His infinite love and support, constantly spoke to my soul to assure me that this indeed was the right decision for me.
So between pursuing my greater passion, the mismatch I found in my environment and the amazing support I got from my husband, I made the decision to quit teaching formally.
Some of you may be wondering, well so what – numerous people quit their jobs each day? And yes you are correct. However, most people quit their jobs to go to another job and this is not the case for me.
I am not looking for a new employer. In fact I never want an employer again. And I am not moving to another job. I never want a job again. And yes I am leaving behind a very nice salary. Now don’t expect me to say that I never want money again ;)
I am moving into new territory, into unchartered waters, but I have to tell you that even though most endings come with fear and anxiety, I am not feeling any of this. I think that tells me even more so that I am making the perfect decision for me. I am in alignment with my own compass.
There will be no more jobs and no more employers, because I have come to know that there is another way. From now on, I am accountable to and for myself. From now on instead of making a living, I am making a life.
I am not sure when or where money will come from, but I have to tell you I am not concerned about that. Some may think, “oh well they must be well off!” And to this I say “nope – not by society’s standards at least”. We are a typical couple and have decided to do this (and I say we because we are in this together) not because we can financially, but because we can spiritually.
I have learned enough in the last 4 years to know that when we let go of the oars, and flow downstream instead of always struggling upstream, life always works out.
As Joseph Campbell once said:
Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.
And today I know I am blessed and so grateful to have gotten to a point where I trust and have faith in such words. Many people might say, “oh that could never be me.” But I tell you it can. It is not going on blind faith and it is not wishful thinking – it is how the universe works and when you experience it, you know it and there is no going back after that.
And so with this ending, comes a new beginning – the beginning of my freedom. A freedom to be who I truly am and to do what my soul was truly called here to do. I have chosen, just like you, to come through into this world at this time. There is a bigger purpose here and the time has come for me to pursue its direction.
From now on, there will be no scheduled wake-ups in the morning out of an obligation to go somewhere. There will be wake-ups to greet a new day and see how I can serve the world that day.
From now on, there will be nothing that I need to hold back. I have not been able to fully speak my truth now for quite sometime and it will feel good to be wholly myself.
From now on, there will not exist an environment where I have to subside who I am and force myself to be with and work with opposing energies. I will instead surround and envelop myself with like energies, with whom I can become an even more powerful co-creator.
As I said above, I do love to and believe I have been called forth to teach, and so that is not going away. However, the teaching will be done in an open, loving, flexible, nonjudgmental and embracing environment.
I want to teach people how to think, instead of what to think. I want to teach people how to connect with their inner being – their God side, and be in a state of peace and love at all times. I want to teach people how to see beauty in all facets of life. I want to teach people how to be accountable for themselves in all areas of their life. I want to teach people how to connect to others and have better relationships, whether they be parental, romantic or friendships. And above all, I want to teach people how to come back and live in balance, with themselves, others, and nature. This will of course also include my expertise in the areas of nutritional science, which I will apply to helping people live out a natural way of life that just as equally nourishes the physical body as it does the spiritual soul. For despite the fact that we are spiritual beings, we must at this time still respect the physical side and support it appropriately through diet, movement and thinking.
So July will come and do I have everything planned out? Of course not. I live in the present moment, for that is truly all there is. How can I plan today, what my soul will be called to do in a month from now?
We are just as powerful in removing all the stresses from our lives, as we are putting them there in the first place. There is no stress to this transition, or there would be no point, the way I see it. Having said this, I do as a creator have some intentions.
I intend to start writing my first book this coming September and have ideas for many more to follow. I intend to begin arranging some speaking engagements in my community over the summer and see where that leads. And more than anything I intend to give some serious focus to the 3 sites that I have at the moment, and speaking of which, stay tuned for a whole new structure to EvolvingBeings.com this July.
No matter what, I can tell you that I am definitely not short on ideas. I have more ideas than I know what to do with, so now it will be just a matter of aligning myself and letting things unfold as they will at the right times.
What else will come of this beginning, only time will tell! But for now I rejoice in my transition and envelop myself in gratitude that I am where I am, and simply that I am.
And so as one thing comes to an end, another thing begins. There is never a finality – not to us and not to anything that God has touched.
Remember we all go through times of change, where things end and new things begin. These do not need to be anxious times in our lives. When we live in the present moment, we realize that everything is perfect just as it is. There is no need to worry or fear or force anything to be.
It is in times of transition that we need to let go of the oars even more and allow the grace of God to lead us in th direction of our soul’s destiny. For there was no ending that ever went by, without a deeper and more meaningful beginning.
Pursue your inner callings with courage. Here is to a never ending journey of evolving this being!