February is the month of Valentine’s Affairs and with it come dreams of cupid, shooting arrows, candy hearts and lovers bliss. Yet many couples have already moved away from the commercialization of love and as romantic as I am (and once captivated by the concept myself), I applaud them and am beginning to join this movement.
In fact, I say let’s not only throw away this obligatory date, but let’s take it’s good qualities and reclaim it for ourselves. Not just our lovers and loved ones, but “I” and “you.” If we’re going to be doing anything romantic, let’s do it to our Self!
Does this sound selfish? There may have been a time when I myself would have been puzzled by this notion, perhaps even thought “I can’t do that!” but now I understand that we must first love our Self, before we can truly love another.
This epiphany has been ever-growing. There are moments when the significance of loving one self has come to full bloom for me, and other times when this important concept wilted away only to be receded at a later date.
You see, as a woman, a mother, a wife, and an Energy Healer, I find it exceptionally easy to make sure that those around me feel loved, are loved and receive actions of love, and I love doing this! Yet I’m becoming quite awake now (and I believe this time the flower will now fully bloom) to the understanding that I must also love my Self.
And as odd as this may seem, I find it to be the most difficult thing to do! I am nearly always conscious of ensuring those around me feel loved, yet when it comes to feeling, sending and receiving love to my self, this area is often sadly neglected. Of course, most of the time this is not intentional. It is namely because I do not have the illusionary time to do so, or I am not paying attention to this dire need, but when I truly slow myself down, I realize that this is perhaps one of the most important gifts I can give, not only to my Self, but to everyone in my life.
A Day in Love With Self?
Even writing down the words, “a day in love with self” makes a part of me cringe with embarrassed fear and want to pull my sweater up over my head! I wonder, what if this is misunderstood by my readers? And then I ponder at how simply loving one self has become such a lost, awkward and forgotten art form?
A few weeks ago I was having a rushed bath by myself. This is a rare event, not the ‘bath’, and not the ‘rush’, but the ‘by myself’. Usually, bath time has come to mean two little babes climbing and crawling in with Mom, trucks beeping, cups dumping and faeries talking.
Yet on this date I had the tub all to myself, the kids were happily playing downstairs with Dad, and even so I was scrubbing away to just ‘get the job done’ and finish fast. I had a moment and thought, “Wait a minute, this can’t be right!” And then it suddenly dawned on me why it felt so delicious to have the exciting treatment of a lover’s touch, a once a year massage, or a hug from a friend! It’s because of this question: “How often in a day, or even a week or month, are we giving our Self a loving moment of gratitude and praise?”
I was floored when I realized that I couldn’t honestly recall the last time I had a bath without secretly rushing to get back to the kids, my work, the dishes or the next task at hand. And this isn’t because I have a husband who wouldn’t encourage me to have this important time. In fact, he’s always asking me to take time for myself, yet even when I do, somehow I’m not!
As this realization dawned on me, I decided right then and there to slow myself down, to return to Sacred Space, and to be in love with me and the now, just for me and the now. With that decision made, and the shift in consciousness allowed, I then went from rushing through the process to lighting candles, putting on some meditative music, and then slowly soaking and immersing myself with delicate tender care, using the essential oil with thanks, and most of all, thanking every part of me.
Thanking my hands for their healing touch, thanking my face for its embodiment of my feelings, thanking my tummy for growing my two biggest miracles, thanking my legs for allowing me to walk, and thanking my feet for grounding me to Great Mother. Then I gently let my eyes wander to the Monet-like painting above the tub and I travelled to a garden of Flowers and Angels, of loving Spirit Guides, and of Great Wisdom that only Source allows in the moment of ‘now.’
When I returned to the room, I saw gentle energy radiating all around me and I felt more peaceful than I had, just for me, in quite awhile. This space was the Sacred Space that I ensure for every client I ever encounter, yet I now was reminded that it was also the space that I needed to give to me every single moment of every single day.
Peacefully ready, I unplugged the tub and began to dry off. And then it happened again! I started to rush. ‘Autopilot’ was about to bring me back to the ‘fast-forward’ and with a forgiving breath inward, I slowed down to ‘play’ and ‘flow forward’ instead. As I came downstairs that day, I know I gave my children and my husband the best of me I ever could!
So whether it is Valentines or another holiday, before you rush around looking for a gift to give to someone else, remember to give to your Self. Remember to love your Self, and to take the moment for yourself. And as you refuse to let your Self somehow get lost in the mix of your everyday ‘must do’s’ you’ll begin to open yourself to the magic of you, of life, and of every being within it!