Anger seems to be a natural part of life, but the more we go down the path of spiritual evolution and personal growth, the less anger seems to be in alignment with our state of being. Yet often, the challenges that arise in the human experience may elicit various degrees of anger. Suppressing any emotion is not healthy, yet expressing our anger may not always feel good either. In the essay below, Darren Schilling examines if and when there may be a time and a place for anger.
Examining Our Anger Triggers
We are angry people aren’t we? We get upset at almost everything. Of course we have to watch it seems, when and how we express our anger in society. You don’t want to get too angry at work. You shouldn’t yell at those people, or show them that side of you. Unless of course you’ve gotten to the point where you were able to manifest a place of employment that is a true source of joy for you. If that’s the case then the people at work can probably handle your true self. But if it is just a job… don’t yell in front of those people. That will get you fired.
How about reading the news on The Guardian or watching The Young Turks on Youtube? Does that “angry up” your blood? Does it get you really pissed off once you see and hear about people who look at the world in a way you don’t? And whatever you do, don’t read the comments…or write one. If you write a comment on a YouTube video you are going to get some haters replying to you almost regardless of what you share. Anonymity seems to create bold heartless people. I am open to admitting that they indeed make me angry. I’m usually alone though, and able to just chill and let it go a little in effective ways for me.
Oh I know, a domestic dispute! There’s a safe place to get angry. Yell, scream, and express your fears through verbal volume. Direct them right at your partner. Unless of course you have a partner who is just in the relationship for themselves, just like you. Then the screaming and yelling and anger releasing is just going to escalate into a hatred fueled swordfight between two triggered and wounded Egos. On the other hand if you are in a partnership where each person is open to supporting the other person without taking anything personally, that is to say if you are in a partnership that isn’t based on attachment and judgment, then you can probably feel free to express your anger around your partner knowing that you have their full support and understanding about the whole thing.
Healthy Outlets for Releasing Our Anger
Go do a nice long yoga session and see what emotions come out. Maybe Yin Yoga where you hold the positions for a really long time. For me anger comes right out of my muscles, tears me up and bursts out in swear words and grunts of agony. If I’m alone, or if I’m in a class of truly open and accepting beings that can relate to what I am going through, I normally express what comes forth. If I’m in a regular class, I just do some internal, mental yelling. It still diffuses the anger but I don’t think as much gets to come out when it’s internal.
So where are we then? I guess the safe time and place to express anger is when you are living in alignment with your true self and the environments you find yourself in are there to support you. When you have connected with the Universe around you and opened yourself up to accepting and healing your emotional pain, you also draw people into your life that truly wish to help you.
It is completely safe to express your pain and anger when you are living in accordance to the rules of acceptance and love. These include:
Use every opportunity in this life to think about how you can help others before you think about what you can get for yourself.
Accept that you are here in this lifetime to heal and grow and forgive yourself for the necessary trauma caused by this process.
Remember that every other being that you meet is here doing the same thing that you are. Look at everyone else as though they were an extension of yourself and do for them what you would want done for you in the same situation.
Allow yourself to be open enough to draw people into your life who are accepting of you and who appreciate your suffering in this life, and who are willing to help you heal your pain.
This list of the rules of acceptance and love is not all-inclusive. But interestingly what you will find is that the more you live in accordance with them, the less anger you have to release.
You can do it.
I believe in you.
I love you.
As a follow-up to this article, I invite you to also read my 3 part series on Healing Emotional Triggers.