Steven’s story is empowering as he shares how he listed to his inner being when he found a disconnect in his life and created a life based on purpose, meaning and joy. Steven makes us recognize the importance of taking a look at ourselves and understanding that our life truly is in our hands. We can change and create the life we desire, we simply have to choose change.
My journey of awakening and personal expansion
Ever since I was a child I always felt that there was something more to life, there was something that I just couldn’t grasp and comprehend at such a young age. That feeling stayed with me throughout my teenage years, so much so that I felt I didn’t belong to this world. It sounds a little ‘out there’, but I felt that my body was living in a physical world that wasn’t on the same level as my spiritual mind.
There was a huge cognitive disconnect going on here, and I couldn’t for the life of me understand it. On the one hand I was trying to fit into a social world that seemed happy to go with the flow, and on the other hand my mind was trying to comprehend a spiritual world that I couldn’t quite fathom out. The result was a misplaced teenager trying to connect two different worlds. It all came to a head one night, and I committed to taking my own life, which I had fantasized about for a few years. After telling my family how much I loved them, I took a glass of milk to bed and 30-40 strong sleeping pills. I cried myself to sleep as I silently told my family how much I loved them. At about 5am, whilst unconscious, I fell out of bed. Hearing the noise of me falling out of bed, my dad came to investigate and called an ambulance and I was in hospital for 3 days. I still cry for my family as I realise what I must have put them through, having your only son trying to take their own life, how they must have felt, I cannot imagine.
The day I woke up in hospital, fully conscious I knew my life had to change. It was then I decided to change everything in my life that I wasn’t connecting to spiritually and emotionally. I dropped my friends (drinking buddies), except one, decided on a new career path, left the town I was brought up in and started a new life more connected with the world around me. I learned to overcome that feeling of being disconnected by following my heart. When you are a teenager you kind of go with the flow and are carried along by friends and peers. When you stop for a moment and ask yourself ‘Is this what I really want?’, when the answer is ‘No!’ and you decide to say ‘No!’ and stand up for your heart, life takes a new turn and a new person is born.
Years later I took six sessions with a counsellor just to talk about my suicide attempt. In the first session she asked me why I tried to take my own life and I told her “the jacket of life didn’t fit me, and I wanted to take the jacket off.” In the last session she asked me what had changed, I said “I didn’t realise that the jacket of life could be altered. I altered my jacket.”
I hate admitting what I did, especially as I know how much it hurt my family, but honesty, complete honesty, both with yourself and others, is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself. When you can ask yourself the toughest questions and be completely honest with yourself, life changes in a dramatic way, inside and out.
My Inspirations and Influences
Change can take a long time if you are trying to figure it out on your own. The trouble with change is, you don’t know what you don’t know so how can you ask the right questions of yourself in order to affect change? It’s only when you see others changing that you begin to realise that you can look at others and be inspired to change. Not only that, but if you ask the same questions that others have asked themselves to change then you can begin to change yourself.
As a teenager I was reading the likes of Edgar Cayce, H. P. Blavatsky, Alistair Crowle_y and _Israel Regardie as I was looking for answers to this ‘other world’ my mind was inhabiting. But then two books came along that totally changed me.
One Saturday afternoon a strange thing happened as I was browsing the bookshelf in a second hand bookstore in a town called Kirkcaldy, Fife. I was stretching to pick out a book I had seen, I can’t remember which one, but as I was pulling it off the shelf another book fell to the ground. I picked the old , battered, book up to put it back on the shelf, but stopped myself as I read the title: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It was an old, weathered, 1960s edition of the book but I decided to buy it after reading the blurb. That book totally changed my thinking, and I started to look for answers within myself, instead of looking outside for answers.
Some people might say that is the ‘Law of Attraction‘ at work, however I would say that my unconscious mind was ready to read a book like this and recognised that it might be important. Had I not been ready, and at a higher level spiritually, I would have put that book back on the shelf without thinking twice about it.
The other book that totally changed me was a book called Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life by Shakti Gawain. Her book taught me about visualizing your outcomes in your mind. When you can see the end in your mind, your brain automatically gets to work on the steps needed to reach that end.
The most important person who has inspired me is my wife Sharon. Yes, it might be cliched to say that, but it’s true. She has taught me the importance of honour, love, loyalty, compassion and so much more, and I am constantly inspired by what we have.
My Positive Life Changes
My path of change has been a pretty awkward one, but the one thing I have learned is to keep going, and eventually you end up on the right path again. The older I get, the quicker I realise when I am straying off the path. I used to think too much about things, analyse them to death, but I eventually learned to listen from within. When something feels right in my life, it’s like a little click inside me. That click tells me I am on the right path, and learning to trust that click is hard, especially when everyone else is telling you that you’re doing it wrong. For example when I started writing my blog in 2006, my friends and family thought it was a waste of my time and wondered why I was putting so much effort into it. The click told me I was doing the right thing, and I’m still clicking :)
My happiness in life is not the emotional high of feeling happy, it’s a deep, inner contentment with life. The three people in my life that cause this inner contentment are my wife and two sons. The passion that I have to help others improve their life with my courses and books is something that drives me and contributes to that overall feeling of inner contentment in life.
My Next Steps as an Evolving Being
My next steps are to develop a course which will benefit a lot of people around the world and to take that course on stage at some point. I have written, what I think is a great course called Mind Alchemy which went live at the beginning of May 2011.
I will be developing this and evolving it into something great so that a lot of people can benefit from it. I believe I have reached a point in my life where I am evolved enough myself to be able to help others on their path of transformation. That’s in no way an egotistical need, although there are elements of that still residing in me :) I just believe that if you have something worth teaching then it is your duty to go out and share it with others, which ultimately raises the energy of the world just a tiny fraction more. The more of us who do this the quicker the energy of the world will be raised. I will also continue writing and offering valuable articles on my blog Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.
My Advice to Others
Changing our lives in some way should be a conscious decision on our part. If we don’t make the effort to continually evolve ourselves, it means we are going to be a part of someone else’s evolution.
When we evolve from a conscious level, and make it a habit to evaluate our lives often, it means we will be be a step closer to a self that is higher, both emotionally and spiritually.